No Time to Write, but . . .

. . . please do go over to Kristen catch up on the latest. Thanks again for your care and concern! And prayers! Most of all your prayers.


Okay - I should probably change the title, as I am now home from work and ready to catch up a bit. Unbelievably, as you noted if you have gone over to her site today, Kristen is back at work. Wonder drugs and lots of prayer have worked miracles in her body. I trust that she will be able to stay healthy and strong.

When I am under stress and in distress, I eat. I am definitely an emotional eater. Some people can't eat when they're upset. Not me. I graze all over the kitchen. I eat stuff I don't even like. If there were raisins in my cupboard, I would have eaten them yesterday. I really don't like raisins. I know, in the midst of this binge behavior, that I am derailing all of the hard work I've done in the last two months. I even lost 2 pounds while on vacation, for Pete's sake! And here I am packing those lost pounds back on - they found me again.

The collateral damage of my angst is that, not only do I gain weight back, but I feel lousy. I have zero energy, and even feel a bit short of breath. So - I feel too lousy to go to the gym. When I don't go to the gym, I feel even lousier - and when you add on the guilt factor, I am a mess.

I can always tell when I'm in trouble - I stop keeping track of what I'm eating and when I'm exercising. That's the only way it works for me, and when I quit, I backslide fast and furiously.

But I am asking God to help me get back on track, to place my trust where it belongs, and to QUIT WORRYING!!

I am sure I have told this story before, but I don't have the energy or inclination to go back into my past posts to find it. So I will tell it again.

When I was pregnant with Kristen, 33 years ago, I had no morning sickness. I had no health problems whatsoever; in fact, I felt great. I reveled in being pregnant.

Then came the Friday I'll never forget. I had been to my monthly appointment the day before. I got a call at work asking me to come in and bring DC with me. I don't know why that wasn't ominous for me, but it wasn't. I called him at his work, and we headed for the clinic. Of course, by the time we got there, the doctor who was going to see us was off delivering a baby. So we waited. He finally arrived and we were ushered into his office. He looked at us with a very serious face and said that it appeared I had a case of Rubella at some point in the first 23 weeks of my pregnancy. Rubella, also known as German measles, was a serious scare then - I don't recall hearing much about it lately. But it was known to cause blindness, deafness, or retardation (not the PC term now, I know). I asked him, "Can you have this without knowing it?? I haven't been sick for one minute."

And then he told us that "it is not too late to terminate the pregnancy." Much the same terminology Kristen heard Tuesday.

At that moment, Kristen (or Kevin, because we didn't know which it was, and those were our chosen names), gave me a huge kick as if to say, "I'm okay, Mommy. Don't let them kill me.!" DC and I looked at each other, knowing without a doubt that we would not even entertain that thought.

The nurse took me back for another blood test, holding my hand as I squeezed hers tightly. I cried, she comforted. She became my best friend in that doctor's office, and we shared stories for years to come, as she was with my doctor until she retired just a few years ago. Sally - what a great nurse she was.

Then began the longest week-end of my life - not nearly as long as Kristen has had to wait, but excruciating. My boss was a wonderful Christian man. Our desks were right in the lobby of a bank, but I sat at his desk after my appointment (yes, I went back to work), and told him my story, unable to hold back the tears. He prayed with me, and we went home for the week-end a couple of hours later.

On Monday, the phone call finally came with the news that there had apparently been a "lab error." Somebody read it wrong, somebody did it wrong, I don't know. Or God did a miracle. All I know is that several months later, the most beautiful baby girl was born.

So I know how Kristen felt when the babies were kicking her at the doctor's office. I do. But I can't imagine the feeling of knowing there are two!