Thursday, August 23, 2007

No Time to Write, but . . .

. . . please do go over to Kristen catch up on the latest. Thanks again for your care and concern! And prayers! Most of all your prayers.

Okay - I should probably change the title, as I am now home from work and ready to catch up a bit. Unbelievably, as you noted if you have gone over to her site today, Kristen is back at work. Wonder drugs and lots of prayer have worked miracles in her body. I trust that she will be able to stay healthy and strong.

When I am under stress and in distress, I eat. I am definitely an emotional eater. Some people can't eat when they're upset. Not me. I graze all over the kitchen. I eat stuff I don't even like. If there were raisins in my cupboard, I would have eaten them yesterday. I really don't like raisins. I know, in the midst of this binge behavior, that I am derailing all of the hard work I've done in the last two months. I even lost 2 pounds while on vacation, for Pete's sake! And here I am packing those lost pounds back on - they found me again.

The collateral damage of my angst is that, not only do I gain weight back, but I feel lousy. I have zero energy, and even feel a bit short of breath. So - I feel too lousy to go to the gym. When I don't go to the gym, I feel even lousier - and when you add on the guilt factor, I am a mess.

I can always tell when I'm in trouble - I stop keeping track of what I'm eating and when I'm exercising. That's the only way it works for me, and when I quit, I backslide fast and furiously.

But I am asking God to help me get back on track, to place my trust where it belongs, and to QUIT WORRYING!!

I am sure I have told this story before, but I don't have the energy or inclination to go back into my past posts to find it. So I will tell it again.

When I was pregnant with Kristen, 33 years ago, I had no morning sickness. I had no health problems whatsoever; in fact, I felt great. I reveled in being pregnant.

Then came the Friday I'll never forget. I had been to my monthly appointment the day before. I got a call at work asking me to come in and bring DC with me. I don't know why that wasn't ominous for me, but it wasn't. I called him at his work, and we headed for the clinic. Of course, by the time we got there, the doctor who was going to see us was off delivering a baby. So we waited. He finally arrived and we were ushered into his office. He looked at us with a very serious face and said that it appeared I had a case of Rubella at some point in the first 23 weeks of my pregnancy. Rubella, also known as German measles, was a serious scare then - I don't recall hearing much about it lately. But it was known to cause blindness, deafness, or retardation (not the PC term now, I know). I asked him, "Can you have this without knowing it?? I haven't been sick for one minute."

And then he told us that "it is not too late to terminate the pregnancy." Much the same terminology Kristen heard Tuesday.

At that moment, Kristen (or Kevin, because we didn't know which it was, and those were our chosen names), gave me a huge kick as if to say, "I'm okay, Mommy. Don't let them kill me.!" DC and I looked at each other, knowing without a doubt that we would not even entertain that thought.

The nurse took me back for another blood test, holding my hand as I squeezed hers tightly. I cried, she comforted. She became my best friend in that doctor's office, and we shared stories for years to come, as she was with my doctor until she retired just a few years ago. Sally - what a great nurse she was.

Then began the longest week-end of my life - not nearly as long as Kristen has had to wait, but excruciating. My boss was a wonderful Christian man. Our desks were right in the lobby of a bank, but I sat at his desk after my appointment (yes, I went back to work), and told him my story, unable to hold back the tears. He prayed with me, and we went home for the week-end a couple of hours later.

On Monday, the phone call finally came with the news that there had apparently been a "lab error." Somebody read it wrong, somebody did it wrong, I don't know. Or God did a miracle. All I know is that several months later, the most beautiful baby girl was born.

So I know how Kristen felt when the babies were kicking her at the doctor's office. I do. But I can't imagine the feeling of knowing there are two!


sentimentsbydenise said...

I just read Kristen's latest post. I KNOW the Lord's hand is in this pregnancy and a miracle is happening as we pray! All glory to Him who does MORE than we ask or even imagine! (Eph 3:20).

Thinking and praying for you and yours today!


Linda said...

I'm going to go read Kristen's post, but I just wanted you to know my heart is knit with yours in prayer for your sweet girl and those little babies.

Diane J. said...

Headed over there now...

Love and hugs,


Diane J. said...

Sorry you're off your diet and exercise regimen, but sometimes you do what you have to do to get through a crisis.

I'm claiming God's promise that all things work together for good to them that love God.

Love and hugs,


Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Here is a big hug for you! ((((((Dawn))))))

kpjara said...

I'll keep Kristen and the whole family in my prayers.

I can TOTALLY relate to the emotional eating...and the hunt and eat no matter what...except brussel sprouts...just wouldn't do them if they were the last food on earth!

Cool Kristen told you she was fine 'in utero!'.

Sharon Lynne said...

I'm so glad Kristen is feeling better!

Thank you for sharing your story. How hard it must have been for you to go through that weekend. And God knew all along that you would be rewarded with a joyful bundle!

I wish we all could see the end of some of the things we currently are going through. But that's not how God set it up. We must trust him. But it's good to remember all the times in the past that he has brought us through!

Judith said...

Oh my! I have to tell you this. But First, am ever thankful you had the good sense to not take the doctor's opinion about your daughter. Sometimes a swift kick in the ribs is better.

And I hope you don't beat yourself up about your eating and weight. You'll take care of it, I'm sure. These past weeks I've really been hitting the icecream, I mean lots of it. When my job situation calms down, I'll get back to normal about it.

But I must tell you about my aunt who was in her forties, and felt really bad, and the doctor told her she had a floating tumor, and needed immediate surgery. This was so long ago they may not have done xrays then,and thank the Lord they didn't. She told the doctor she would wait a little while before doing anything, and she had an eight pound baby girl.

Robin said...

So glad your daughter is doing better. What a relief, hey?!

I have a friend who was 5 months pregnant and they told her her baby probably had spina bifida. They wanted her to abort. She refused. When he was born he was perfect. Not one thing wrong with him!

nancygrayce said...

Bless all your hearts! I too am a stress is my husband so what a team we make....back in November hubby had lost 35 lbs and was looking great and feeling great. Then we found out his dad had lung cancer and his mother had breast cancer. He gained it back plus 5 and I just continue to eat and gain.....I lost 30 lbs 4 years ago and it is back too.....because I had been a regular exerciser, somehow my clothes size has only gone up 1 size. I'm working on it again. Just remember, you have to take care of you, so you can take care of everybody else!~ :) Many prayers and much love from Florida

Barb @ A Chelsea Morning said...

I'm one of those people who cannot eat a bite of anything when I'm as stressed and emotionally drained as you are right now, Dawn. It's a good thing. There was an eight year period in my life when I'm sure I would have ended up weighing 300 pounds if I were a stress eater. That period ended in a year of Zoloft to get me back on an even keel, but that's another story.

I remember this story. Imagine that something horrible could have happened because of a stupid lab error. I hate to even think how terrible that weekend of waiting was for you.

I'm praying Kristen can post a story like this a year from now.

Chris said...

Kristen is in my thoughts and prayers, as are you.

Tammy said...

Oh Dawn...what a story! It gave me chills...
I'm continuing to pray for Kristen and her babies! (((HUGS)))